I knew she would be angry at me, but what was a few weeks grounded in the grand scale of things? I went upstairs to my bedroom, passing my dad’s room on my way up, “Nice to see your home safe son…” he said. He had always trusted me to look out for myself, a trait my mother hadn’t adopted. “Thanks dad” I replied lingering in his doorway for a minute then walking on, “Hey where are those bracelets you bought the other day?” I smiled, though unprepared for this question, “Uh, I threw them away, they started to make my wrists go green…” I heard dad tuting quietly and mutter something to the effect of “Damn eBay rubbish…” eBay being the place I’d told him I’d bought it. In fact I’d got it from a expert in miniaturised tracking systems, I had paid nearly 1000 pounds to get tracers shaped like chain braceletsl. I’d paid another 30 quid for the software to track the location of the bracelets. At this present time, one was somewhere on the floor of Mr K’s garage, one was hidden in the boot of. Great name, yeah? Great for me anyway.So, what does my app do? Rather than bore you with the technical details, I’ll tell you a story. Some company needs me to fix their crappy app. They want a face-to-face meeting to set things up so they book me into a hotel, a good hotel mind you, I don’t come cheap. In the hotel that evening I fire up my master app, the one I have the only copy of. That lets me have a look around. Who’s running my free app nearby? Any selfies? Pick a few likely prospects. The free app keeps a running check of how long it has been on screen. Sort the prospects by screen time, the more time the better. Check their locations: bar, hotel – good; office, home – not so good. A quick shower, grab my phone and off I go. Yeah, in case you’re wondering I make very sure that my free app isn’t on my own phone; my master app kills any copies that try to install themselves.I usually start with the bars, a lot of the women there are looking for a good time. It doesn’t take long.
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